July 2005 Archive

What do you get when you combine over 50 adults and kids, 15+ roaring automobiles, a church and a clue? A sanctuary full of nuns praying for safe roadways.

Last night Juli and I (along with Stacey and Jodi…and Kennedi) headed over St. Elizabeth’s annual scavenger hunt. First prize: $200/team. Second prize: $75 per team. Third prize: entry fee back. As we got to the church, it seemed pretty bare. The place was decorated like Christmas. This years theme: Christmas in July.

When we arrived, there were maybe eight other people there…not the makings for a great race. Everybody’s attention was towards Clark W. Grizwald (as National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation played in the VCR). So it seemed that our chances of walking away with some cold hard cash was pretty good. But as time passed, more and more and more and more people showed up. By the time the first clue was given at 7:30, there were over 15 teams. And it was apparent that most of them were veteran scavengers.

Some teams were talking smack about how they’ve won in past years…but this year they were going to lay back and take it easy. Other teams had “get-away-cars” ready in the parking lot. But we didn’t buy into any of it. As the first clue was given to us, everyone raced out of the church and bolted for their cars. Two hours later…we came in third to last.

Although it was a disappointing finish, we had a blast. It’s not everyday I’ll see Stacey running the ol’ Honda at 90mph. As for our strategy for next year: Drive faster, avoid train tracks, and talk louder.

One word…Classic. Written by Phil Hartman and Paul Reubens (Pee Wee) and directed by Tim Burton. What…Tim Burton…really? Yeah. After watching this movie for the first time since it’s release, it’s easy to see the “Burtonisms” in the movie. The creepy-flashbacks, the dark under-tones…Large-Marge. It’s all there.

Mikayla laughed her head off…as did Juli and I. Mikayla thought Pee Wee was hilarious. The next day she started quoting lines from the movie…like “Mad Dog, ahhhh!” (from the part when Pee Wee brushes his teeth with an over-sized toothbrush and starts foaming at the mouth). I’m sure we’ll hear more quotes before the week is over.

Our girl in advertising

Recognize that torso? No? Take a closer look. Does it remind you of any 6 year-old girls you know?

Mikayla was a model for us at work this month. We needed a girl about her age for this shot…and a teddy-bear.

BRAVO! Who’s the television-producing genius who came up with Jason Lee’s latest project? My Name Is Earl will air Tuesdays this season on NBC. Check it out. I’ve only read about it in the short time I’ve known about it (1 hour), but already my hopes are high and my calendar is marked on for Tuesdays at 8.

For the few misfortunate souls who aren’t familiar with Jason Lee…this would be an opportune time to go to Blockbuster and get acquainted with him in Mallrats. Next, head over toStereo Skateboards and see where his fame and fortune started. From there, just Google Jason Lee…you’ll pick it up from there.

Oh, look at the time. I’ve got to bail. I’m late for my job at the mall at The Fashionable Male. Later.

It’s inevitable. Every single day…we’re all guaranteed to get some kind of SPAM. Some of us are apparently trying to lower our mortgage rates, while others are on a quest to have a larger penis. As Seinfeld might say, “What’s the deal with all this SPAM?”

Not once did we sign up to be on the “small-willy” list, or ask a perfect stranger for dirt cheap prescription medication. How did it become so bad that the inbox of our favorite email application receives somwhere between 6 and 20 SPAM emails on a daily basis (and some in upwards of 50+).

Flippin’ idiots. Quit sending me crap mail. It’s obviously not working on me because over the past 8 years of my email-life I’ve never bought anything off of SPAM emails. Get a life…and leave mine out of it.

Have a pesky ass-clown who won’t stop sending you SPAM. Click here to report SPAM emails and help clean up the bandwidth.

Slamming skulls and taking names! THE DOG (found on the A&E channel) is capturing the attention of this rocker. And it’s not so much that he’s chasing after wanted fugitives or slamming convicts into the ground (because as we all know that kind of action can be seen on any given Saturday afternoon on FOX watching COPS). I’m fascinated with his sweet mullet and born-again-christian, ass-kickin’ attitude.

He’s the only person alive that can rock a mullet, leather pants, leather and metal studded arm bands, metal-tipped cowboy boots, dangly earrings, and still kick your ass for jumping bail all while looking cool in the middle of Hawaii, Bra. For those who haven’t seen his show, however…it could get confusing watching him and his crew arrest some fugitives. Because after putting the beat-down, he immediately turns his attention to reforming the convicts souls and preaching life lessons about living straight. The DOG, in all his leather and metal, has to be the hardest rocking, gnarliest bounty hunter out there…I mean, just listen to his theme song.

Side note to the producers at A&E: Get DOG and Beth, his wife, an 80’s Pontiac Firebird (as seen in Smokey and the Bandit). That would complete the package and make for some killer footage.